My past stabs me in the pack everytime I study progamming again. Looking at how I studied and train in Web development years ago and nothing happen. I had a lot of opportunities. I tried to study a lot so I can feel confident enough to apply for the job. But distraction, pressure, and lack of discipline pulled me away from that dream and goal. And now that I try to keep studying, almost all the distractions in my house and my past mistakes and failures troubles me again. I can't lose this time. How I can I pursue my dream, my plans in life, to help with the finances, to buy this and that if I let myself being pulled away again?
The need to help with my parent's finances, and the fact I'm in the age that need to move forward as I'm not getting any younger helps me push myself to achieve that goal and dream of mine that's been dragging for way too long.
if I let myself be pulled again, what will happen to me now? Nothing. No other choice but to move on. Fight distractions and other elements that tries to stop me.